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As a child, I received a very clear message about who I was meant to be. A good girl, a helpful woman, a devoted wife. I could also be a secretary if I chose to work. Who I was meant to be was never something that was my responsibility to think about or determine. Not so simple now, because not only are we expected to figure this out, we feel there is something wrong with us if we can't.
Because we are so results driven in our society, we tend to confuse who we are with what we do. We refer to career or lifestyle choices when we think or talk about who we are meant to be. For example, when asked the question "Who are you meant to be?" many respond by saying "rich and famous", "an astronaut", or "a good parent". These are descriptions of roles or goals - doing rather than being statements. We tend to define ourselves from the outside in, rather than the inside out.
We have come to know that humans are dynamic, development-oriented, relational beings that are naturally driven toward maturity through developing self-awareness, consciousness and acceptance. We also all have the capacity to use our striving energies to ensure that we fulfill our potential. Striving energies are innate energy centers in the brain that move us to activity and organize our behaviour toward a goal. They are observable patterns of behaviour that are easily recognized as a "Striving Style". There are eight Striving Styles and one of them will be the favorite and most natural to use. When we use our favorite, or most potent, Striving Style, we are most likely to be happiest, healthiest and able to achieve our potential.
We don't choose our Striving Style consciously. In fact, observing children provides us with the opportunity to see how early the dominant style manifests. For example, a child whose Striving Style is to be secure will demonstrate caution in his play and resistance to try new things. One who's Striving Style is to be helpful shows empathy and an awareness of others early on.
We each have all of the striving energies available to us; however, we differ in the order in which we like to use them. The potency of the striving energy is stronger in those we prefer and therefore dominant. These we use to achieve our potential and allow us to best realize who we are meant to be. Over using the behaviours of the lesser preferred Striving Styles, because of conditioning or because they are more acceptable to others, weakens our confidence and self-esteem.
We have all of the Striving energies, with each having greater or lesser potency. We all have the use of the energy from all eight areas and each plays a role in optimal human development, so none can be neglected without consequence. In addition, when we can't use our preferred Striving Style, or when our Striving Style fails to help us achieve our goals, another pattern of behaviour emerges, which is generally less mature than our dominant style. This pattern of behaviour, often referred to as an archetype, takes over how we behave and we are now even less likely to develop as a result. The descriptions of the Striving Styles indicate what happens to each of the Styles when this happens.
What's your Striving Style? The Striving Style assessment will help you determine your priority of strivings. Most people have 2 or 3 Striving energies that they most use, so don't be surprised if your results indicate more than one preference. It simply means that these are the energies that you are mostly using in your life at this time. | 